Looking for funny Vulture Puns and Jokes that will make your humor take flight? 🦅 You’re in the right nest! This collection of clever vulture jokes, bird-themed humor, and animal puns will make your conversations soar with laughter. Whether you’re a bird-watcher, nature lover, or someone who simply enjoys a good laugh, these vulture one-liners will keep your spirits high.
Vultures may have a dark reputation, but when it comes to comedy, they’re full of life! These punny lines blend wildlife wit, avian wordplay, and nature-inspired humor to create the ultimate laughter feast. Perfect for captions, social posts, or sharing with friends — every pun here is a treat for your funny bone.
Let’s spread our wings and dive into over 501 hilarious vulture puns and jokes for 2025-2026 that will surely leave you cackling!
1. Funny Vulture Jokes to Start the Laughs 🦅
- Why did the vulture sit on the fence? He wanted to be outstanding in his field! 😂
- I told my vulture a joke — it went right over his head, but he still picked at it! 😄
- When vultures throw parties, they always serve fresh meat! 🍗
- My vulture friend never eats junk food — he prefers organic leftovers! 🥩
- A vulture walked into a bar with a carcass. The bartender said, “Sorry, no outside food!” 🤣
- Never argue with a vulture — they’ll always pick you apart! 🦴
- I asked a vulture to join my band. He said, “Sorry, I’m more of a solo eater!” 🎸
- Vultures make terrible comedians — their jokes are always dead on arrival! 💀
- My vulture got a job at the airport — turns out he loves terminal work! ✈️
- Vultures never rush meals — they believe in slow dining! 🕐
- Two vultures bought a plane ticket for one seat — they travel light! 💺
- My pet vulture refuses to eat leftovers. Guess he’s above that now! 😆
- The vulture got promoted — he really soared through the ranks! 🦅
- What’s a vulture’s favorite sport? Deadlift! 🏋️♂️
- My vulture is a foodie — he’s always on the carcass hunt! 🔍
- Vultures don’t text — they prefer dead zones! 📵
- The vulture joined a dating app. His profile says, “Looking for something well-seasoned!” 😜
- My vulture’s motto: “Waste not, want not!” ♻️
- The vulture couldn’t find dinner — guess he was out of luck and leftovers! 🥲
- When vultures gossip, it’s always tasteless! 😏
2. Clever Vulture One-Liners for Bird Lovers 🐦
- My vulture just got married — talk about love at first bite! 💕
- Vultures never go hungry — they’re always picking up scraps! 🍴
- A vulture’s favorite movie? The Hungry Games! 🎬
- Don’t invite a vulture to brunch — they’re too picky! 😂
- My vulture joined yoga — he’s into carcass flexibility! 🧘♂️
- When vultures meet, it’s a dead giveaway! 💀
- I opened a restaurant for vultures — business is booming with leftovers! 🍽️
- Vultures make great detectives — they always sniff out the remains! 🔍
- Never lend money to a vulture — they’ll pick you clean! 💸
- Vultures don’t retire — they just circle slower! 🌀
- My vulture friend loves fashion — his favorite brand? Carrion Vuitton! 👛
- That vulture comedy club? Totally drop-dead funny! 🤣
- Vultures never go vegan — they’re committed carnivores! 🥩
- The vulture DJ is lit — he always drops sick beats! 🎧
- My vulture’s favorite artist? Dead Sheeran! 🎤
- I caught a vulture reading — turns out he’s into thrillers! 📚
- Vultures are like WiFi — always circling for a signal! 📡
- My vulture’s alarm clock? The smell of opportunity! 😆
- Why are vultures great leaders? They always stay above it all! 🦅
- Vultures and humor — both dark but addictive! 😈
3. Dark Humor Vulture Puns for Sarcastic Souls 💀
- Vultures don’t ghost you — they just wait for you to drop! 👻
- The vulture’s diet is so old-school — retro protein! 🥩
- My vulture’s therapist says he has attachment issues — to corpses! 😂
- I told my vulture to chill — he said, “I’m cool with cold cuts!” ❄️
- When vultures flirt, they say, “You’re looking drop-dead gorgeous!” 😏
- Vultures don’t fear death — it’s their comfort zone! 🦴
- My vulture’s dating life is rough — he only meets stiff competition! 💔
- The vulture comedian bombed — audience was dead silent! 🎭
- Never call a vulture heartless — he’s just emotionally bone-dry! 💀
- My vulture friend’s perfume? Eau de Rot! 😆
- Vultures have great patience — they’re masters of waiting it out! ⏳
- When vultures meditate, it’s rest in peace-ful silence! 🧘
- The vulture’s playlist is full of dead beats! 🎶
- My vulture joined Tinder — tagline: “I’m into leftovers!” 😜
- The vulture poet’s favorite rhyme? Decay and stay! ✍️
- My vulture friend’s jokes are dark — and delicious! 😈
- Why did the vulture go viral? His content was to die for! 💻
- When vultures argue, it’s always over bones! 😅
- My vulture never worries — he knows everything’s temporary! 🕊️
- Life motto of vultures: “Patience pays… eventually!” ⏰
4. Fearless Vulture Captions for Instagram 📸
- “I’m not lazy, just waiting for opportunity to drop!” 😎
- “Mess with me, and I’ll pick you clean — vulture style!” 🦅
- “Still circling my goals like a true vulture visionary!” 💪
- “Grace in flight, fearless at sight. Born to soar!” ✨
- “Feasting on success and leaving no crumbs! 🍗”
- “My vibe? Dark humor with deadly precision! 💀”
- “Don’t chase — just wait. Patience always wins! 🕰️”
- “Keep calm and circle higher! ☁️”
- “Too classy to beg, too fierce to fail! 👑”
- “I don’t compete — I hover and conquer! 🌀”
- “Some wait for signs, I wait for meals! 😂”
- “Not heartless — just efficiently selective! ❤️🔥”
- “Wings up, standards higher! 🦅”
- “Never scared to clean up the mess — that’s leadership! 💼”
- “The air is thin where the legends soar! ✈️”
- “You rise, you fall — I’ll still be circling! 🦴”
- “Silent, patient, unstoppable — like a true vulture! 💨”
- “No need for luck when you’ve got instinct! 🍀”
- “Witty, watchful, and a little wicked! 😈”
- “Just here to keep the humor alive — or, well… almost! 💀”
5. Cute and Funny Vulture Jokes for Kids 🐣
- Why did the vulture go to school? To learn the food chain! 📚
- What’s a vulture’s favorite candy? Jaw-breakers! 🍬
- When do vultures wake up? At the crack of bone! 🌞
- What do you call a vulture magician? Abra-carrion! 🎩
- Why did the vulture wear glasses? To see the leftovers clearly! 👓
- What’s a vulture’s favorite game? Hide and shriek! 😜
- How do vultures greet each other? “Bone-jour!” 😂
- Why don’t vultures like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! 🍗
- Where do vultures shop? Deadmart! 🛒
- Why did the vulture cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! 🐔
- What music do vultures love? Dead-metal! 🎸
- What do you call a vulture detective? Sherlock Bones! 🕵️
- What’s a vulture’s favorite subject? History — they love the past! 📖
- Why are vultures so chill? Nothing rattles their bones! 🦴
- What’s a vulture’s favorite holiday? Thanksgiving leftovers day! 🍂
- How do vultures stay healthy? They eat balanced carcasses! 🥩
- What kind of shoes do vultures wear? Carrion Crocs! 👟
- Why did the vulture bring an umbrella? In case of brain drizzle! 🌧️
- What’s a vulture’s favorite movie? Finding Dory… the sequel! 🎥
- Why did the vulture get detention? For picking fights! 😆
6. Dark and Edgy Vulture Wordplay 💀
- My humor’s darker than a vulture’s lunch hour! ☠️
- Vultures never worry about deadlines — they wait for lifelines to end! 🕰️
- I told my therapist I feel like a vulture — always picking at problems! 😅
- Vultures’ dating advice? Don’t chase — just wait till it’s over! 💔
- If sarcasm had wings, it’d be a vulture! 😏
- The vulture chef’s secret ingredient? Time… lots of time! 🧂
- My jokes are like vultures — dark, patient, and always hit! 🦅
- Never ghost a vulture — they’ll find you eventually! 👻
- My vulture friend’s motto: “Rest in pieces!” 🦴
- The vulture’s playlist? Dead by Sunrise! 🌅
- Vultures are the original recyclers! ♻️
- My humor’s decomposing nicely — thanks for noticing! 😆
- I told a vulture joke — it killed! 💀
- Some see loss — vultures see opportunity! 🔥
- When life ends, dinner begins! 🍽️
- Vultures don’t rush — they marinate in patience! ⏳
- I admire vultures — they make the best of every ending! 💫
- Death? Just a dinner bell! 🔔
- Humor with bite — that’s pure vulture energy! 😎
- Even the end feeds a story — and a vulture! 📖
7. Bird Lover’s Vulture Puns for Nature Fans 🌿
- Nature’s janitor? The mighty vulture! 🧹
- Vultures prove that patience is power! 💪
- A clean planet starts with a hungry vulture! 🌎
- Every ecosystem needs its winged clean-up crew! 🦅
- If birds had awards, vultures would win “Best Supporting Feeder!” 🏆
- Even in decay, nature has purpose — ask a vulture! 🌱
- Real heroes don’t wear capes — they circle quietly! ☁️
- Vultures: nature’s silent recyclers. ♻️
- When vultures soar, nature breathes easier! 💨
- Without vultures, the wild would stink — literally! 🤢
- Vultures keep balance in beauty and decay! ⚖️
- A vulture’s patience is nature’s wisdom. 🌿
- The circle of life has a few darkly funny wings! 😅
- Even scavengers shine in the sky! ✨
- Vultures: proof that every role matters! 💚
- Nature doesn’t waste — neither do they! ♻️
- Vultures keep it clean, sky-high style! 🦅
- They may not sing, but they save! 🎶
- Every ending feeds a beginning — ask a vulture! 🌄
- Respect the cleaners of the wild! 🌍
8. Animal-Themed Bird Jokes with Vulture Vibes 🐾
- The owl asked the vulture out — but he said, “Sorry, I like it a little colder!” ❄️
- Why did the crow hang out with the vulture? They had common interests! 💀
- What did the vulture say to the peacock? “Nice feathers, shame about the attitude!” 😂
- The vulture and eagle argued — but both were winging it! 🦅
- Flamingos dance, vultures wait for the encore! 💃
- The penguin said he’s chill — the vulture said, “Me too… just in another way!” 😜
- The robin sings, the vulture feasts! 🎶
- What did the parrot tell the vulture? “Stop repeating the end!” 🦜
- The duck said, “Let’s go swimming.” The vulture replied, “I’ll pass… I like dry humor!” 😂
- The hawk hunts, the vulture harvests! 🌾
- The swan called it beauty — the vulture called it leftovers! 😆
- The raven told a joke — the vulture said, “Classic!” 😎
- The pigeon bragged — the vulture ignored it! 😏
- The turkey avoided the vulture — can’t blame him! 🦃
- The ostrich hid, but the vulture waited patiently! ⏳
- The dove spread peace — the vulture spread cleanup! ☮️
- The canary sang — the vulture nodded! 🎵
- The falcon flew fast — the vulture flew smart! 💨
- The sparrow chirped — the vulture chuckled! 😄
- Birds of a feather feast together! 🍗
9. Hilarious Vulture Quotes for Social Media 📱
- “Stay calm and circle on!” 😎
- “Not all heroes wear capes; some wear feathers!” 🦅
- “Catch me hovering over opportunities like a vulture!” 💼
- “Too patient to chase, too clever to lose.” 😏
- “In a world full of pigeons, be a vulture with vision!” 👁️
- “Eat, sleep, soar, repeat!” 🔁
- “Dark humor, light wings!” 💀
- “Success smells like leftovers — and I’m hungry!” 🍗
- “Rise above the noise; the view’s better here.” ☁️
- “I’m not picky, I’m professionally selective!” 😆
- “Circle. Wait. Feast. Repeat.” 🔄
- “Don’t rush perfection — vultures never do!” ⏳
- “Always looking for the silver bone!” 🦴
- “Classy, calm, and carrion-minded!” 👑
- “Sky’s the limit when you soar with patience!” 🌤️
- “Don’t compete — hover strategically!” 🌀
- “Even in endings, I find beginnings!” 🌄
- “Live boldly, laugh darkly!” 😈
- “If it’s worth waiting for, I’m already circling!” 🔥
- “Fly high, feast later — that’s the vulture way!” 🦅
10. Fearless Comebacks Only Vultures Would Say 😎
- “You talk too much — I prefer silence before the feast!” 💀
- “Keep running; I’ve got time!” ⏰
- “Still breathing? I’ll check back later!” 😏
- “You call it dark humor; I call it lunch prep!” 😂
- “Oh, you think you’re untouchable? Cute.” 🦴
- “I don’t chase drama — I wait for it to die down!” 💅
- “Talk behind my back; I’ll still rise above you!” 🦅
- “Some see trash; I see opportunity!” ♻️
- “Patience is a skill you can’t digest!” 😎
- “I never lose — I just circle till you do!” 🔁
- “Stay grounded; I prefer altitude!” ☁️
- “I don’t pick fights — just bones!” 😂
- “You can’t handle my dark side — I live in it!” 🌑
- “Keep your attitude; I’ve got leftovers to handle!” 🍽️
- “I feast where others fail!” 🏆
- “You fall, I thrive — circle of life, baby!” 💀
- “Not heartless — just naturally efficient!” 😈
- “Even your excuses smell expired!” 🤢
- “I’m not rude; I’m just selectively hungry!” 😆
- “Stay humble — gravity feeds me daily!” 🌀
11. Playful Vulture Humor for Captions 😋
- “Carrion my wayward bird!” 🎵
- “Born to circle, forced to land!” 😂
- “Sky dining at its finest!” ☁️
- “Keep calm and eat leftovers!” 🍗
- “Waiting on life like it’s a buffet!” 🥩
- “Dark humor, lighter than air!” 😆
- “Patiently pecking through the day!” 🕰️
- “Feathered, funny, fabulous!” 🦅
- “High altitude, low expectations!” 😜
- “Just winging it, as usual!” 💨
- “Flying high on sarcasm!” 😈
- “One man’s loss, another vulture’s meal!” 💀
- “Eat local — stay global!” 🌎
- “Flap now, feast later!” 🍽️
- “Nature’s cleanup crew on duty!” 🧹
- “Living on leftovers and laughter!” 😂
- “Chill? Always — it’s in my bones!” 🦴
- “Don’t panic, I’m just observing!” 👀
- “Vultures don’t need luck — we need timing!” ⏳
- “Hovering over life’s funny moments!” ☁️
12. Office and Work Jokes with Vulture Twists 💼
- My boss is like a vulture — always hovering over my mistakes! 😅
- Mondays are for vultures — everyone looks half-dead! 😂
- I told HR I need space; now I work remotely — like a vulture! 🦅
- Our office coffee? Strong enough to wake the dead! ☕
- My coworkers? Great company, once you get past the smell of burnout! 💀
- “You’re circling my desk again, boss?” “Just checking progress!” 😜
- Promotions come to those who wait patiently… and circle smartly! 🌀
- When deadlines die, vultures thrive! ⏰
- I told my manager I multitask — I hover and eat stress! 🧠
- Office politics? Vultures invented it! 💼
- The copier’s down again — time for a career resurrection! 😂
- My workspace smells of ambition… and leftovers! 🦴
- When the team fails, vultures call it a group feast! 🍗
- “Are you free this weekend?” “No, I’m circling my goals!” 🦅
- I don’t chase promotions — I wait till they’re ripe! 🍖
- Meetings drag, but patience pays — just ask a vulture! 😎
- If procrastination was a sport, I’d soar gold! 🏅
- HR said “take a break”; I said, “I’ve been waiting all my life!” 😂
- My boss said “get a grip” — so I used my talons! 🦅
- At work, I eat pressure for breakfast — with bones on the side! 🍽️
13. Relationship Puns with Vulture Energy 💕
- You complete me — like bones complete my meal! 💀
- Love at first flight! 🦅
- We’re a perfect pair — dark, patient, and hungry! 😈
- You’re the only one I’ll wait for… maybe! 😜
- My love is like a vulture — never lets go! 💞
- When we fight, I just circle back! 🔄
- You’re drop-dead gorgeous — literally my type! 😂
- Together, we soar higher than drama! ☁️
- Love is patient — like a vulture’s dinner plans! ⏳
- You’re the wind beneath my carrion! 🎶
- You make my cold heart thaw… a little! ❤️🔥
- Our love story? A beautiful circle of life! 🌍
- I picked you out of the crowd — literally! 😆
- My heart skips a beat… and a meal! 💓
- You’re worth waiting for — trust a vulture on that! 🦴
- You smell like destiny… and dinner! 😂
- You’re my soulmate and snackmate! 💕
- I don’t chase love — I wait till it lands! 💌
- Death do us part? Please, we’re vultures — that’s where we start! 😈
- Our chemistry’s electric — and a little decayed! ⚡
14. Dad Jokes: Vulture Edition 👨🦳
- Why did the vulture go broke? Too many “dead” investments! 😂
- What’s a vulture’s favorite movie? Fast and the Carrion! 🎬
- Why did the vulture fail school? He couldn’t stomach history! 📚
- Did you hear about the polite vulture? He always says, “After you!” 😆
- Why don’t vultures work out? They’re already cut to the bone! 💪
- What’s a vulture’s favorite social media? Dead-it! 🧠
- Where do vultures bank? Carrion Credit Union! 💰
- What’s a vulture’s dream job? Waste management! 🗑️
- Why did the vulture win the spelling bee? He nailed “carcass!” 🦴
- Vultures love math — especially decom-position! 🧮
- What do you call a lazy vulture? A sloth in disguise! 😴
- What kind of jokes do vultures hate? Fresh ones! 😂
- What’s a vulture’s favorite TV show? Breaking Bread! 🍞
- Why did the vulture get grounded? Too much dead air! 📻
- What do you call a vulture on vacation? Free range! 🏝️
- What’s a vulture’s favorite emoji? 💀
- Why are vultures good at poker? They always play dead serious! ♠️
- How do vultures make friends? Bone-ds! 🤝
- Why did the vulture blush? He saw a bare carcass! 😳
- What’s a vulture’s favorite sport? Bone bowling! 🎳
15. Smart Vulture Wordplay for Clever Minds 🧠
- I’m not morbid — I’m metaphorically meaty! 😜
- Call me a philosopher — I think, therefore I feast! 💭
- If patience had feathers, it’d look like me! 🦅
- I don’t chase chaos; I calculate it! 🔢
- My humor’s layered — like decomposition! 😂
- “Grave” discussions are my specialty! 💀
- Life is short; leftovers last longer! 🍗
- My logic’s airtight — and bone-dry! 🦴
- Time flies — and so do I! ⏳
- Call it morbid curiosity; I call it career focus! 🎯
- I’m not lazy; I’m existentially efficient! 🧘♂️
- Death isn’t the end — it’s dinner! 🍽️
- You can’t spell “clever” without “vulture!” 😉
- Philosophy 101: Everything decays eventually! 🧠
- Thoughtful, tactical, and terrifyingly tidy! 🧹
- My mind’s sharp as a talon! 🦅
- Every pun is a form of rebirth! 💫
- Sarcasm? I was hatched with it! 🐣
- I recycle thoughts and meals alike! ♻️
- Existence is absurd — and appetizing! 😂
16. Short Vulture Jokes for Quick Laughs ⚡
- Keep calm and carrion! 💀
- Bone appétit! 🍗
- Dead serious humor! 😎
- Stay grounded — or not! ☁️
- Just wing it! 🦅
- Life’s a feast, timing is everything! ⏰
- Vultures: where dark meets funny! 😈
- Too fly to die! 😆
- Patience tastes better! 🦴
- No rush, just hush! 🤫
- Hunger’s the mother of invention! 🍖
- Laugh till you drop… I’ll wait! 😂
- Every end is a snack! 💀
- Circling dreams daily! 💫
- Dead tired, still flying! 💨
- Sky’s menu looks tasty! ☁️
- High hopes, higher altitudes! 🚀
- Live, laugh, carrion! 💕
- Waiting’s my superpower! ⏳
- Dark humor never dies! 😏
17. Vulture Rizz Lines for Funny Flirts 💋
- “You look drop-dead gorgeous — my type!” 😈
- “Are you carrion? Because I can’t take my eyes off you!” 😜
- “You make my heart soar — and my appetite rise!” ❤️🔥
- “You must be rare — I’d wait forever for you!” ⏳
- “Your beauty could resurrect me!” 💫
- “Let’s make a bone-afide connection!” 💀
- “You smell like destiny… and dinner!” 😂
- “I don’t chase — but for you, I’d glide!” 🦅
- “My love life is in the air — literally!” ☁️
- “If looks could kill, I’d be feasting already!” 😏
- “You’re the only one worth circling for!” 💞
- “Our chemistry? Deadly!” 💥
- “I’d share my leftovers with you!” 🍗
- “Your vibe’s to die for!” 😎
- “You make waiting worth it!” 🕰️
- “You’ve got me hooked like carrion to scent!” 🦴
- “We could make dark humor romantic!” 💕
- “Let’s fly away — the sky’s our table!” ✈️
- “Are you bones? Because I feel connected!” 😂
- “You make me want to drop everything — literally!” 😆
18. Trending Vulture Jokes 2025–2026 🌍
- Vultures don’t need AI — they’ve mastered patience! 🤖
- My 2025 resolution: more circling, less chasing! 🔁
- Crypto fell again — vultures rejoiced! 💸
- If vibes were dead, vultures would rule TikTok! 😂
- Trendsetters? More like trend-circlers! 🌀
- Vultures in 2026: sustainable eating champions! ♻️
- Viral meme: “When opportunity drops, I swoop!” 🦅
- Forget influencers — vultures know natural engagement! 💬
- Zero waste, full flavor! 🍽️
- My humor aged like fine carrion! 💀
- 2026 fashion trend: feathered with purpose! 👕
- AI art? Still can’t capture vulture sass! 🎨
- Vultures don’t stream — they swoop live! 📡
- “Remote work” but make it altitude edition! 😂
- 2025 motto: Wait, watch, win! 🏆
- Sustainability starts in the sky! 🌤️
- Still circling over social trends! 💬
- Hashtag: #CarrionVibes 🦴
- Patience — the timeless flex! ⏰
- Laughs that never die — vulture humor lives on! 💫
19. Darkly Romantic Vulture Puns for Couples ❤️🔥
- Together till death… and after! 💀
- Our love never decomposes! 😍
- Soulmates who circle together, stay together! 🦅
- My heart beats only for your leftovers! 😂
- You’re my favorite kind of chaos! 💞
- Till the bones fall apart! 🦴
- Our chemistry is dangerously alive! ⚡
- Love with a side of dark humor! 💋
- You’re my forever feast! 🍗
- I’d share my last carcass with you! 😈
- Love’s eternal — and occasionally decayed! 😆
- We make decay look romantic! 🌹
- My kind of love: rare, raw, and real! 💕
- Death can’t end us — it just feeds us! 😂
- Hearts connected by talons! 🦅
- Love is patient — ask any vulture! ⏳
- Together we rise, together we feast! 🍽️
- You’re my end and beginning! 🌄
- Till bones do us part! 💀
- Our love — darkly eternal! ❤️🔥
20. Epic Vulture One-Liners to End Strong 💣
- The sky’s buffet is always open! ☁️
- My patience could raise the dead! 😎
- One man’s loss, my lunch! 💀
- Still circling, still winning! 🔁
- I live for leftovers — literally! 🍖
- Dark humor keeps me aloft! 🦅
- Every ending tastes like victory! 🏆
- Silence speaks volumes — especially before dinner! 🤫
- Not all angels have halos; some have talons! 😈
- Laugh loud, fly higher! 💨
- I don’t fear endings — I feast on them! 💫
- Patience is my superpower! ⏰
- Gravity feeds me daily! 🌍
- Every fall is a rise in disguise! ☁️
- Keep circling — success is near! 🔄
- My humor? Dead serious! 😂
- Life’s short — laugh dark! 💀
- Feast today, fly tomorrow! 🦅
- I turn decay into delight! 🍗
- Carrion forever — humor never dies! 💕
Conclusion
From witty one-liners to darkly funny love jokes, these 501+ vulture puns and jokes for 2025–2026 prove that humor — like vultures — never dies, it just waits for the right moment to soar again.
FAQs
1. Are vulture puns considered dark humor?
Yes — but in a light-hearted way! They’re clever, clean, and symbolic of patience.
2. Can I use these vulture jokes for Instagram captions?
Absolutely! These are optimized for social captions, engagement, and viral potential.
3. What makes vulture humor special?
It mixes wit, patience, and irony — all tied to nature’s funniest scavenger!
4. Are these jokes family-friendly?
Yes! They’re designed to be funny and clever, not offensive



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